Zoe at the Special Olympics

Life is really busy right now with a new job, finishing thesis, and now a flood in my hometown and I am making sure my house is not being washed away.  The good news is, my sister competing in Alberta' Special Olympics this weekend in Devon, Alberta.  Despite the flooding, the event is going on as it is further north and not in the flood zone.  Here is a blog post my mother wrote about the event.  More to come later.

Zoe at the Special Olympics

Apparently the Olympics went very well and Zoe won a silver medal and three bronze medals.  One medal for each event she entered.  Very cool Zoe!  I shall call in the next few days to hear her stories.

Zoe Wins Four Medals

Crunch Time 3

So I did it.  I handed in my thesis to my professor earlier this week.  Now begins several months of re-writes.  I wonder how sick I will be of my thesis before it even goes to my committee?  While I await the first set of re-writes I am hearing horror stories of both the length of time other grads have experienced for re-writes and how many people cry either during or after their thesis defence.  Despite some harsh criticism of two parts of my thesis, I did not cry during or after the proposal, but I was in shock for about a week.  Walking around thinking about how I could have made the proposal better to have avoided the criticism, as well, wondering where a university's responsibility begins in teaching about their students how to complete research, and where the individual grad student's responsibility begins.  Besides, open verbal group feedback is a very difficult experience and chilled me a bit to the bone.  Then again, that is the whole point of a thesis committee, the group that gives you ideas about how to improve your work, your abilities as a researcher, and your writing.  A bit of a double-edged sword, pointing out the weaknesses while at the same time helping the individual to improve through little tiny repetitive cuts to the top layer of skin.  Hopefully I can handle what comes.  The end is near, I just have to sustain my level of progress until the very end.

Towards the end I looked like every other crazy student's space: papers everywhere, books piled in each other, pens, pencils and highlighters all over the place, cups of leftover beverages strewn about, piles of dishes in the sink, semi-rotten food in the fridge, running out of clothes to wear, few clean towels left, and a dirty apartment that scared me.  The picture below is the cleaned up version of my study space (you will not be seeing the rest of the apartment).  Should have taken a shot before I organized.  It was a hilarious, academic mess.    

Worry, not, I was not bored after I handed in my thesis as my student political career winds down at the end of this month as well.  What a strange and eclectic ride that has been.  Full of the interesting, bizarre, and overwhelming experiences that can crush one's soul or bend you in ways you thought you were not flexible.  I had to have a long conversation around January with a colleague about the sacrifices I was making to complete this political work and the tole it was taking on my academic progress.  At the time I was being steam rolled by a colleague and it was exhausting and disappointing, but not worth delaying my academic progress.  From this and other experiences I have learned that democracy is illusive and hard to work through as a process.  I am willing to interpret rules in order to serve people and ensure their needs are met, but there are multiple interpretations of rules and critical thinking is always necessary.  We serve people, not words on a piece of paper, but the ideas attached to those words are important and subject to interpretation.  This makes democracy challenging and formidable.  It has been an interesting few years.  

As these two main pieces of my life come to a close, work that has occupied my life for three years, I wonder about the next steps.  I am lucky as I have already had several job interviews for work in both the tourism and recreation fields.  This weekend I am spending time thinking about what I want from life, and I wonder what the future holds for me and what choices I will be asked to make.  All unfolding uncertainties.  Exciting and a bit scary at the same time.

Off to create a poster and re-read my thesis just for improvement sake...again.
I'll keep you posted.

Nutty Professor

This week has been strange.  Many things occurred but in all I am concerned I will never, ever, ever get a job.  Ever.  Let alone one I enjoy.  I expressed my concerns to a full-time instructor from my university, when I saw her at a conference, and she gave me some advice:

"Tonia, quit trying to look into the future and do what you need to do now.  Focus on finishing your thesis.  Become the typical nutty professor who has documents, papers, and pens all around, writing, reading, sleeping and writing more.  Give into this time period and really experience it for the next few months, then worry about the rest of it later.  Be in the moment, this moment."  

Tough advice for someone who is always looking into the future, who has student debt, and is anxious about the next few steps of life.  The more I think about her words, the more they are sinking in.  Listen to the people that have come before you and do what they say.  They know more than I and this is actually advice I have heard from several people on campus.  So I let go.  I focus.  I trust in those who know more than I, immersing myself in this experience.  The only way to enjoy the road and the destination.

What will that destination be?  Dang, still looking forward.  Need to go back to writing but I will be updating my Nutty Professor posts once in a while.  Bring on not showering for four days, wearing the same clothes day in day out, and ordering in food keeping my brain and body in top processing shape (maybe a little cooking would be better for the last one).

Nutty professor.  Here I come.  In costume?!?

I, Mona Lisa

I, Mona Lisa by Jeanne Kalogridis
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Several years ago I gave this book to my mother as a Christmas gift.  This holiday season while visiting family I saw it on the bookshelf and decided to read it myself.  It was chosen because my mother is a musician and a lover of art.  Having lived in Europe as a pre-teen, I have memories of my mother taking me around to well known art galleries, showing me well known works of art, and whispering in my ear or sharing with me the reasons why a particular painting was so famous, or controversial, or cutting edge for its time.  This book is staged around the famous painting Mona Lisa, which I saw first when my parents took me to the Louvre during the four years we lived in Belgium.  Paris and France is only a short skip away from Belgium.  The narrator is none other than Mona Lisa, and Kalogridis has written a fast paced, intriguing historical fiction account about the time period in which Da Vinci painted this piece of art, the woman in the frame, and her life surrounded by a mix if loving, creepy, controlling, concerned, self-serving and mysterious people.  A time period during which a women's servants could be her best friends, Kalogridis teaches the reader that there are secrets hidden within generations, but the secrets will always come to light.


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Vagabonding

Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel by Rolf Potts
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

"Research your own experiences for the truth...Absorb what is useful...Add what is specifically your own...The creating individual is more than any style or system." - Bruce Lee, p. xviii

Potts introduces the reader to a travel phenomenon called vagabonding, a fun easy going word that means one is moving about the globe gathering experience, knowledge and understanding through observation and personal contact with other people, with about two dimes in their pockets.  We also learn the term anti-sabbatical - a job one acquires with the intention to stay a short time, just long enough to gather sufficient funds for the next adventure, travel based or otherwise.  I had travellers envy throughout most of this book.  Deep envy.

"Vagabonding is, was, and always will be a private undertaking - and its goal is to improve your life not in relation to your neighbours but in relation to yourself.  Thus, if your neighbours consider your travels foolish, don't waste your time trying to convince them otherwise.  Instead, the only sensitive reply is to quietly enrich your life with the myriad of opportunities that vagabonding provides." -p. 36

Potts takes this book to introduce the reader to ways one can travel on a small budget by relying on oneself, great contacts and useful websites.  You will come out ready to travel and to do it well.  Now, where are you going to go?


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Grad School Lazy = RUN

It is time to get in shape using my shapely form.  Going from teaching all day and moving around for 6 hours organizing children, teaching lectures, providing supplies, starting projects and the general mayhem of teaching elementary school, grad school has left me lazy.  Yes, I blame grad school.  Other than the research I completed this summer at festivals and interpretive centres, grad school required my brain, fingers and wrists to function on overload, but not my other body parts.  Hence I am less healthy and fit than I have ever been in my life.  A once former athlete, I have been a casual participant in sports and other activities over many years, and several years ago was so frustrated in a crazy job that I began working out 1.5 hours a day, just to deal with the daily stress and bur-ha-ha.  I was tighter after that job but the insanity lead me to other paths in my life.  I moved to London and started to travel, during which I walked and moved for hours every day, and tried every delicious looking European snack possible (have you been to an authentic patisserie lately?).  Then I transitioned to grad school and lost it all, my sleek calves, my Carnival shaped butt, my tighter abs, and my single chin.  I want these back and in order for this to happen, and under the pressure of great friends, I joined a running club.

This means I have joined the Running Room for a 10 week Learn How To Run clinic.  Now those who know me know I am an athletic person and many of the sports I participate in include running.  My shins have always cried out in pain after a long workout, so I am learning how to run properly and will ease into running with this clinic.  Perhaps I will share interesting wipe-outs and other such nonsense on this blog.  Be prepared for shenanigans!

So far one of the runners this evening told me that there is a new basketball team starting up in Manitoba for women aged 40-49.  I have not found the link yet.  I will keep looking and share because I would really like to get back into basketball.

That would be awesome....must finish thesis first!

My new New Balance shoes:

Love New Balance, always have.

My new ICEtrekkers:

So I don't fall down and go boom!

My new underoos care of Costco and Paradox:

Note: my legs are far more luscious and curvy :)

Bare: The Naked Truth About Stripping

Bare: The Naked Truth About Stripping by Elisabeth Eaves
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

"Somewhere behind my desire to be both a reporter and a stripper lay an impulse to conceal.  Stripping - in competition with acting and espionage - is the ultimate job for someone who's instinct is to present different facades of who she might be.  There is nothing more illusory than a woman pretending to be a sexual fantasy for money." - p. 5

This book was on the wrong shelf when I entered a university library about a year ago.  It has been reminding me it is there waiting to be read for many months and I decided to pick it up over the holiday season.  It was on the apartment shelf as a classmate, during my first year of my Master's degree, announced in class one day that she was completing a PhD about women, their bodies and stripping because she stripped to pay her way through her bachelor's degree several years earlier.  I work hard to be an open person and I easily delight in meeting people whose lives are vastly different than mine and who are willing to share their stories of their life experience.  This book was perfect after I had spent several hours talking with my classmate to begin to build a healthier and more realistic perspective of stripping, the why, who, for what reasons, etc.

"I learned that no one is neutral about female bodies.  If they aren't sex objects used to sell every conceivable good, they are political objects, causing bitter debate on how to manage their fecundity.  And where not sexual or political, they are imbued with society's ideals with fears, turned into Miss Liberties, Virgin Mary's, and Wicked Witches.  Everyone had an opinion on what to do about female bodies, and sometimes it feels as if the only people who get in trouble for holding such opinions are young women themselves.  Some of us, though, have to live in them, and we each get by in our own way." - p. 6-7

Eaves explains how she first became involved in stripping and we meet several of her colleagues, who become friends, and their work as strippers, what purpose is serves in various lives, for some the cycle of dependence that is created in this industry, and the rules of safety that are continuously broken by purchasers and strippers alike.  Eaves teaches the reader that every woman had a line that she has drawn about the sexual work she is willing to perform, and sees many women move and bend this line under pressure from others and due to economic circumstances.

"And I was tempted to see sex work as more of a symptom of social illness than a cause.  The sex biz was nothing more that a sophisticated arbitrage operation, dealing in morals rather than financial instruments...At some point women had become artificially divided into two types - the good and the childbearing ones, carefully trained to disdain sex so that they wouldn't stray, and a separate, pro-sex class.  The second group were despised and disparaged so that the good women wouldn't want to join them.  One group of women ended up with respect but no freedom, and the other with freedom but no respect.  But economics abhors a vacuum, and the whore class...rushed in to fill the chasm between men's actual desires and the social structure that they, with women, had built.  I don't think the divide between the two types of women would go away until all the girls were raised to be free, responsible and unashamed of sex.  And until society had bridged the sex-ed gap - porn for boys and religion and romance for girls - there would always be Lusty Ladies [the stripper club Eaves worked at]." -. p. 138-139

A book that was telling and a strong mixture of social and political commentary shaken together with the lives of women and how their work infiltrates all aspects of their lives.  Give it a read!


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A Little More Understanding and Equality

May we spend 2013 spending more time learning more about people, analyze and improve how we treat each other, and see the ways that we can improve relationships with each other to coexist with more understanding and equality.

Here are two examples of ways in which people are changing the world to create a more positive, considerate and thoughtful sphere on which we live.

Idle No More:

Religion and Homosexuality:

A BYU's student review of the new LDS Church website about homosexuality.

May your holidays be merry and bright!

December 21: Are We Gone Yet?

It is the end of the world today.

Well, maybe not.  

Most likely just a normal December solstice.

Either way I am repeating the same questions I posed to friends and family as I did several weeks ago on the day 12/12/12 near 12:12 PM.  

Welcome Home: Travels in Smalltown Canada

Welcome Home: Travels in Smalltown Canada by Stuart McLean
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Twenty years later this book is still a relevant piece of Canadian literature reflecting on the lives of those individuals who live in rural communities.  Working hard to survive and communities these people share with McLean what they love about living in small towns, what endures them to their community members, and the various ways in which they are attempting to survive together as urbanization increases and their rural populations decrease.  From a hockey town in Manitoba, to the historic town of Maple Creek, to the far reaches of a bay town of Sackville, the reader is taken on a soft and melodious journey through the eyes of those who live and work in rural communities.  I wonder if he has written an updated version.  I think McLean should.

The most interesting part for me was the meeting McLean secured with the person who created the Canadian flag, George Stanley living in Sackville, New Brunswick.  He was asked to create a version of a potential flag by a member of parliament as he had strong interests in history and heraldry (a means of identification, usually focused on country or familial commitment).  He based his single maple leaf design on outfits Olympians wore during the 1928 Olympics, the games my grandfather Doral Pilling and his room mate Percy Williams both competed in.  "One of the images I have carried with me all my life is a photograph I saw when I was a boy.  It was a picture form the 1928 Olympics in Amsterdam of Percy Williams breasting the tape and winning a gold medal for Canada.  He was wearing a white jersey with a red maple leaf on his chest.  It's an image that has always struck with me."  Recently a book was written about Percy Williams by Samuel Hawley titled, I Just Ran: Percy Williams, World's Fastest Human.  Another book to read especially since the author consulted with my Aunt Arta Johnson who was instrumental in documenting her father's, Doral Pilling's, oral history which included stories about the 1928 Olympics and the athletic tours he participated in as the team returned to Canada.  I also have two cousins who have taken this maple leaf motif from their Olympic uniforms and had tattoos made from them.  Family stories and choices coming full circle.  Thank you McLean for shedding more light on a family story of which I was unaware.


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Holiday Greeting Card

The president's office at the University of Manitoba sent out an email notifying all campus members that he/they were looking for a photograph of any of the University's campuses that display a winter scene that can be used for the University's holiday card.  Well, as you can tell from my blog, I really enjoy taking photographs and sharing them with others.  I took the challenge and lucky for me over the past week, 42 centimetres of snow fell, which made for better snowy scenes.

On Tuesday of last week I went out at the golden hour of which there are two, sunrise and sunset.  My night owl status definitely encourages me to lean towards the sunset side of the golden hour.  Having scoped out the campus and noticing the sun set on the opposite side of the campus from where all the historic building are found, I ran about taking about 100 shots, only one set that I really liked.  It is kind of spooky and holiday-ish as the same time.

I cropped it a little, I altered the colour as the sun had set by then and the shot was a glowing blue, but I decided to leave the balls of snow in the bottom right hand corner so that the observer who sees the details would notice that the background of the photograph is snow.  A hint as to what I shot.

The second shot I was not really happy with and would have rather have sent in a picture I took last year at Assiniboine Park, but the request for photos was specific about campus shots.  It is of a piece of artwork near the music building.  The piece include holiday red and I do like the snow resting on the top of the graded coloured pillars but not stunning in any way in my opinion.

The last pictures is why the golden hour is so important to exploit, or use, or take advantage of.  The University of Manitoba, Fort Garry campus is nestled in a curve of the Red River, at which this picture was taken.

  
While I was taking this shot and several dozen others, I noticed that I am far more physically adventurous with a camera in my hand.  I was meeting a friend of dinner on campus after I finished taking the shots so I was in jeans and healed winter boots.  The shots were down a green, snowy stretch of land, then down a slope covered with forest floor dead branches, stumps and other debris.  No matter.  I had to get down there to see what kind of picture I could get from that perspective.  Having taken many shots, I liked this one and enjoyed altering it a little, enhancing the colour, lightening some shadows, and cropping the tree stump out a bit.  I am hoping this one, although a classic shot rather than a push the envelope shot, is definitely studied by the panel as they make the final selection.

I am not holding my breath.  There is little on this campus that I have ever won, money, awards, or recognition even though I have poured my time, intelligence, heart and soul into my graduate work, but I shan't give up.  Especially when photography is involved.

Good luck to all entrants and especially to me!

Remembering

As I posted several years ago, I took the opportunity to go on a tour of the Normandy Beaches in northern France while I was living in London.  As November 11 is commemorated today, here are a few more pictures and stories of this experience.

This shadowed plaque reminds the reader that it took several years for the D-Day plan to come to fruition.  The amount of tanks, guns, vehicles, food and people that had to be amassed in order to cross the English channel to create an artificial port in order to defeat the Nazis is incredible.

Fifty years later the pieces of the port still rest in the sand, slowly being eroded or encrusted with ocean creatures.

An encrusted container on the beach with more of the port structures behind out in the ocean.  The sea claiming what used to be claimed by people.

Arromanches-les-Bains the heart of the D-Day landings on June 6, 1944.

Pointe du Hoc at which soldiers who landed did not find a beach to run across as they dodged bullets and grenades, but who found rock cliffs they were required to climb as they were shot at and bombed.  Such an incredible series of tasks in order to defeat the occupiers.  

Another portion of the Point du Hoc cliffs ready to be climbed by the soldiers.  

A sculpture called Les Braves, which was erected on Omaha Beach near St. Laurent sur Mer.

Moving to the US Cemetery in St. Laurent it is a peaceful place replete with memorials, reminders, crosses, starts and many art pieces reminding the visitor how many Americans died as the country joined in the final chapter of World War II.  This also reminded me how many more people had died from countries who had participated in the war since its beginning.  

The names of those who lost their lives during World War II.

 A water sculpture with a submerged map of the Normandy Beaches connected to a flat, extended pool of water that reaches out, visually, into the ocean from which the soldiers appeared.

A single cross in the US Cemetery.  Note the lack of a name.  A reminder of so many of the unknown soldiers, those who died but who were never identified.

Leaving a rock on a Jewish grave.  Symbolic of remembrance, God as the rock of Israel, acknowledge recent visitors, and adding their piece of rock to the ancient mound of a grave.

A copy of an old picture in one of the Normandy museums.  I love this picture as it juxtaposes the old with the young, the daily tasks of life with the task of unique events, the lack of acknowledgement by each of the main characters toward each other....just doing what needed to be done for survival.  Side by side.

Keep Shining

While I plaster my blog with videos....here is one a cousin shared with me.  She was able to see Shad in London.  You and I get to enjoy his video and powerful music through YouTube.  Thank you to all the women who have taught me so much.  Keep shining.

Pulse Doing Overtime

Fringe Fest in Winnipeg has been good for me.
This one is for you Trevor.
Thanks.

Beyond Somebody That I Used to Know

So most of us who listen to the radio or fully aware that the song of the spring and summer of 2012 was Gotye's, Somebody I Used to Know.  With many group covering the tune, the summer tanners who had it blasting out of their SUV's, and the amount of times it came on the radio, this song ruled the summer.  I too was sucked in and purchased the CD only to find out that there are several songs that I enjoy even more.  Here are the two I find just as compelling as the aforementioned song.

Save Me

Official Video on Vimeo

An artful and creative animation that is scare-crow-man-esque.

Eyes Wide Open

The end of the world with Star Wars-like characters trying to find the fertile soil of yesteryear. 

Dark Star Safari

Dark Star Safari: Overland from Cairo to Cape Town by Paul Theroux
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A marvellous read and moving read.  Theroux, having lived in many of the countries along the east coast of Africa, returns to them to find many of them worse of economically, socially and developmentally than they were in the 1960's.  His message appears to be that the aid dollars given to African nations may be helping in little ways here and there, but these efforts are not helping with the overall improvement of the human and economic conditions in many of the countries he visited.  While help from other nations is important, Theroux repeatedly stresses that African countries must help themselves deal with their own troubles and difficulties.  I have only ever been to one African country so I am not familiar with the complexities of many of the issues.  This book shed some light on these issues, and I will watch and learn more about these nations and their work to become more stable environments for their people.


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Wyona and Greg's 46th Anniversary

A few weeks ago my parents celebrated their 46th anniversary.  I posted a picture and a blurb on Facebook but neither of them have any interest in Facebook as a communication tool.  I post this here at my mother's request so they can both see the congratulations they received from others.

Love to you both!

Today is my parents anniversary. I think it has been 48 or 49 years. As a friend of mind said recently, every relationship has a shelf life. I guess my parents have worked out how to hang out together like two pickles in a jar, just getting better with time.
Happy Anniversary!

(Love this photo - the one above and below - as it sums up my parents to a T. My mother is doing something fun and hilarious while my dad watches on with a smile on his face, just enjoying the fun personality in the woman he married.)

My talented parents practicing their dance steps.

 These are the comments friends and family made on Facebook.

More evidence that they may have different personalities but they have had many a good time after putting in a hell of a lot of work.  

My mother leading the dance party congo line.

My dad hanging out with my Uncle Glen.

Sing You Home

Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

To be honest, I have never picked up a Jodi Picoult book as I always thought she wrote romance novels which are not my literary thing.  In the past few months I have joined a new book club and this was the first book I actually had time to read before I attend the club meeting, and at first I was not excited.  Romance?  Really?  I decided to give Picoult a chance, picked it up on a Saturday and had it read by Tuesday night, staying up late one night due to sleeplessness and wondering what would happen to this book's characters during the turmoil of their lives.

(Warning: contains a few spoilers.)

The book begins with Zoe and Max, a married couple, both working full-time jobs and trying desperately to become pregnant and carry a baby to term.  A fifth failure late in her pregnancy causes Max to leave the marriage as he feels second to Zoe's need to have children, a position he no longer wants to hold.  While recovering from the break-up of their marriage and the end of another pregnancy, Zoe and Max take two very separate roads.  Zoe finds and deepens a friendship with Vanessa with whom she begins dating and eventually marries, and Max joins his brother and sister-in-law's ultra-conservative Christian religion.  Zoe and Vanessa decide to have a child, with Vanessa carrying the three zygotes that Zoe and Max made while they were married.  Max is unsure what to do and confides in his religious leader who convinces Max to take Zoe to court to obtain the zygotes himself.  A vicious battle over the zygotes ensues as we see the rights of two lesbian women legally married (in a different state from which they live), pitted against the forces of  ultra-conservative Christian right-wingers whose belief structure slowly unravels in Max's head.

This is where I shall leave my review and encourage you to read this book.  The tapestry of characters who share the narrative of the book (it moves between Zoe, Max and Vanessa) present lives that have intersected, separated and intersected once more.  Much more than the romance (the ones that Picoult does not write), she takes the reader through a host of ideas and beliefs that people hold about challenging ideas, revealing the differing views of each person and their perspectives about life, love, self-understanding, legal rights and acceptance.  A beautifully woven novel, but not always easy to read.


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Thesis Proposal

After two years of grad school I am finally ready to propose my thesis.  I was ready at the end of June but with some missed paperwork the actual presentation will be taking place at the end of this week, August 10 at 10 AM in IGAC on the second floor.  Come if you are interested in Travel Bloggers and Serious Leisure.  Come if you are going to ask me simple questions that make me look intelligent and highly prepared.  Come if you can spare the time.  Don't come if you are going to be an academic snob and try to make me look bad.  Go bug someone else.

Good practice and good luck to me!

Respect