Before I Go To Sleep

Before I Go To Sleep by S.J. Watson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was a book I could not put down and spent several nights in a row during my Christmas holidays staying up far too late to finish it.  Every morning I would wake up and wonder what it would be like to not remember anything, the panic, the fear, the attempts at reconciling information others gave about who I might be and how I came to have no memory of such a person.  The main character suffers from such a plight as has no memory of her life or who she may be.  As the book moved on, Watson, the author, shocks the reader with a few surprises and as the reader, I could not help but try to find a part in the book when the heroine understands her life through the journal she is keeping.  Read this book for the excitement and nervousness that will seep through your imagination.


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Remembering

As I posted several years ago, I took the opportunity to go on a tour of the Normandy Beaches in northern France while I was living in London.  As November 11 is commemorated today, here are a few more pictures and stories of this experience.

This shadowed plaque reminds the reader that it took several years for the D-Day plan to come to fruition.  The amount of tanks, guns, vehicles, food and people that had to be amassed in order to cross the English channel to create an artificial port in order to defeat the Nazis is incredible.

Fifty years later the pieces of the port still rest in the sand, slowly being eroded or encrusted with ocean creatures.

An encrusted container on the beach with more of the port structures behind out in the ocean.  The sea claiming what used to be claimed by people.

Arromanches-les-Bains the heart of the D-Day landings on June 6, 1944.

Pointe du Hoc at which soldiers who landed did not find a beach to run across as they dodged bullets and grenades, but who found rock cliffs they were required to climb as they were shot at and bombed.  Such an incredible series of tasks in order to defeat the occupiers.  

Another portion of the Point du Hoc cliffs ready to be climbed by the soldiers.  

A sculpture called Les Braves, which was erected on Omaha Beach near St. Laurent sur Mer.

Moving to the US Cemetery in St. Laurent it is a peaceful place replete with memorials, reminders, crosses, starts and many art pieces reminding the visitor how many Americans died as the country joined in the final chapter of World War II.  This also reminded me how many more people had died from countries who had participated in the war since its beginning.  

The names of those who lost their lives during World War II.

 A water sculpture with a submerged map of the Normandy Beaches connected to a flat, extended pool of water that reaches out, visually, into the ocean from which the soldiers appeared.

A single cross in the US Cemetery.  Note the lack of a name.  A reminder of so many of the unknown soldiers, those who died but who were never identified.

Leaving a rock on a Jewish grave.  Symbolic of remembrance, God as the rock of Israel, acknowledge recent visitors, and adding their piece of rock to the ancient mound of a grave.

A copy of an old picture in one of the Normandy museums.  I love this picture as it juxtaposes the old with the young, the daily tasks of life with the task of unique events, the lack of acknowledgement by each of the main characters toward each other....just doing what needed to be done for survival.  Side by side.

Travel As A Political Act: Part 2

As I really did enjoy this book, I was even more impressed that a travel novel, written by an approachable individual with accessible language, finally presented many of the difficult topics that have been debated within the academic and practical spaces of tourism for decades.  One of the first papers I wrote for an basic introduction to travel class concerned the sex trade and the use of young girls in countries as captured sex slaves for the purposes of pleasing middle and upper class Canadian, American and European travelers in order to draw and increase tourism.  I believe my professor handed me back my paper and said, 'interesting topic'.  That was it.  I think he was surprised about the topic and the criticisms that were evident in the paper.  I wish I still had it, I would give it another read, redo and update as sixteen years later, these countries continue to enslave young girls, boys, women and sometimes men as sex slaves but now have begun to reward them and provide them with an understanding that they are contributing greatly to their country's economy in the best way they possibly could (even scarier really).  Well, in my opinion this is crap and the institutionalization of the poor and down-trodded through ideologies of slavery, misogyny and seeing women/people as sex objects, but I digress...again...

Rick Steves within the last chapter of his book Travel As A Political Act shares with following idea with the reader then proceeds to share a list of books he has read that has influence his opinions about the economics of poverty and the politics of power and corporations.  I am sure he would be OK with me sharing this quote and list (even though I don't know him at all personally) and I have added to each book title a link to the book, a related website, or the authors webpage.  Voila!:

"Read books that explain the economic and political basis of issues you've stubbled onto in your travels.  A basic understanding of the economics of poverty, the politics of the empire, and the power of corporations are life skills that give you a foundation to better understand what you experience in your travels.  Information that mainstream media considers "subversive" won't come to you.  You need to reach out for it.  The following are a few of the books that have shaped and inspired my thinking over the years" (p. 203):

Bread for the World

Arthur Simon

Food First: Beyond the Myth of Scarcity

Frances Moore Lappe

The Origins of Totalitarianism

Hannah Arendt

Future in Our Hands

Erik Dammann

Manufacturing Consent

Noam Chomsky

War Against the Poor: Low-Intensity Conflict and Christian Faith

Jack Nelson-Pallmeyer

Unexpected News: Reading the Bible with Third World Eyes

Robert McAfee

The United States of Europe

T.R. Reid

The European Dream 

Jeremy Rifkin

(Click here for Rifkin website and foundation)

The End of Poverty

Jeffry Sachs

Several of these shall be added to my reading list as I have only read the last one while I was living in London.  Off I go...

Get Along

As I was living in Cleveland, Ohio attending high school I remember the Rodney King beating and subsequent riots in Los Angeles as one of my first racial, social justice and political lessons as I saw that life was far more complicated than I understood.  Many of us, from a distance, saw that there had been progress throughout the decades with regards to relationships between races, but we were reminded during this time that the institutionalized, systemic racism and violence towards black people (as well as towards many races and between races) continued.

Recently I was in a conversation during which two people told me that racism happens, sexism happens, homophobia happens, classism happens, it will always happen and there is nothing that can be done.  It is part of life.  Of course I completely disagree.  Racism is a choice.  Sexism is a choice.  Homophobia is a choice.  Classism is a choice.  Agism is a choice.  Colonial ideas are a choice.  An inappropriate comment, a joke meant to demean, and a conversation during which we blame people for their experiences the subsequent traumatic fallout.  It is important to look for, watch and name instances during which we see people making excuses for intolerant behaviour.  Some ideas, words, and comments are so often repeated within a group, society or culture, that they become institutionalized and we believe them to be truths (called doxa by sociologists and anthropologists), but when looked at critically, they have merely been repeated so often that we assume these ideas to be truths.

Most recently I had an individual direct several accusations towards me.  Thank you to some strong and intelligent individuals, we were able to limit his destructive and bizarre behaviour.  Several people told me that this was a case of sexism.  At first I balked at the idea and rejected this notion.  After a few weeks, and in hearing the word domineering directed at me from this person, I conceded.  Upon closer observation I realized that this individual has rarely seen women in positions of leadership, and most certainly is not used to and does not agree with a women reminding him of his responsibilities.  Part of his doxa has been men are leaders, women are not.  It was difficult for me to admit that this was a sexist experience because part of my doxa is women (although few) as leaders, women in authority, and women from whom I have received and accepted advice.   His inane and immature response to me, being in a position of leadership above him, has been an interesting experience.  Doxa's clashing I suppose.      

My experience is nothing close to the trauma and far-reaching aftermath of Rodney King's, but having seen, heard and talked about the LA riots twenty years ago, I am able to identify, as many are, that experiences that parallel his still occur and we each have a choice to contribute to racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, agism, etc.; make excuses for these types of behaviours; ignore these types of behaviours; or have the courage to name them as intolerant and work to remove these inequitable ideas from our societies as doxa which we will no longer believe.

"Long after I am gone, people will remember me saying, can't we all just get along."

Rodney King

Taken from Google images

I shall add his book to the words I want to take the time from which to learn.

Taken from Amazaon.com

Porcelain Moon and Pomegranates

Porcelain Moon and Pomegranates: A Woman's Trek Through Turkey by Üstün Bilgen-Reinart
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Being methodical feels constricting to me so I avoid it and stick with spontaneity.  This includes my selection of reading materials.  I go to the library, head for the travel section, start pulling books off the shelf, judge it by its cover, then synopsis, and keep it in my arms or put it back on the shelf after my discerning judgment :).  Over the past year I have read some wonderful books that have taught me about places I may never visit.  This book, with an unsuspecting cover, an acceptable synopsis, and yet more importantly a travel book written by a women, was left in my arms which was an exceptional choice.

This book was an amazing teaching tool that took me into the depths of thousands of years of history, race relations, conflict, change, and the current lives of many people in Turkey.  Of all the travel books I have read in the past year, this is the most moving one from which I feel like learned enough to be a four month university course that I received for free.  Lucky me!

Perhaps I feel closer to Ustun because she was born in Turkey, moved to Winnipeg, then returned to Turkey as an adult to learn about her culture all over again.  I was born in Calgary, Alberta, but did not live in Canada for any length of time until I was an adult, and I had to learn about my home country year after year when I moved here at the age of eighteen.  As well, I am currently living in Winnipeg.  An interesting coincidence.

This book is for people who want to learn about the deep moving power of travel, history, worship, cultural change, power structures and their influence, the complicated lives of women, goddesses, and to understand how old some parts of the world truly are, all situate in the context of travel, discovery, and making connections between the past and present.  A magnificent read!

I just realized that I will be probably be buying this book.  It is so full of information that I am going to want to come back to it a couple of times just to make sure I hear all of its messages.  Delightful as it stretched my thinking so very far.


The best parts of the book:

But deep inside me there was a division and there was a loss.  There were chambers that had to remain closed.  My Anatolian self was suppressed, my memories of that land - its rhythms, its smells, its temperature, its ancient joys and pains (for what is culture if it is not collective memory that is somehow transmitted through the generations?), the pleasure if my mother tongue - all these lay buried under the psychological layers that formed an efficient, adaptive Canadian self.  p. 14

Ecological balance represents survival - the human race can't live without air, land and water,  I knew that in Canada, too.  But it is only here that I begin to discern the relationship between ecological damage and the loss of distant memory.  So many layers of civilizations have lived and died here that I feel as if spirits hover over Anatolia.  But if their traces are destroyed, if no one remembers those who once lived and died here, we are not even going to know what we have lost...I notice that I often turn to women for stories about taboo themes and about the buried past.  It is true that women are the bearers of collective memory?  That questions leads me to the issue of the suppression of female voices, female memories, and female sexuality in Anatolia, and I see another connection that should have been obvious all along: the killing of nature and the suppression of ancient memory are related to the silencing of women's voices.  Perhaps women could have defended the earth of they hadn't been robbed of power thousands of years ago...On this land at the dawn of history, a different vision taped human societies.  An ancient great goddess reigned in Anatolia for thousands of years.  The traces of her worship remain all over this mountain our land...People often feel an urge to understand their own past in order to gain insights into the present.  I feel complicated to delve into Anatolia's past.  A long and loaded human past must affect the people who now live on this land in the same way that a family history going back many generations will affect someone who knows nothing of the secrets bored with those generations.  p. 17

Ustun continues to discover the thousands of years of goddess worship, provides a historical context of terrorism and her idea as to why it exists, describes how one religion is replaced by another as one culture is conquered by another group with a different culture, provides the history of prostitution and it modern day experience, explains killing ones daughter in the name of honour and how this practice is changing (a difficult chapter to read), and how the people of Turkey are rising up against Western multi-national companies as they destroy the landscape of the country, take their money and run away.  What a read!  It won't be the last time I peruse its pages.  So much more to understand and learn in the second and third readings.

Find it and learn from the words on its pages.  



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Dish

Dish: Midlife Women Tell the Truth about Work, Relationships, and the Rest of Life by Barbara Moses
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As I push 40, I have pulled out this book given to me by my sister during a Christmas several years ago.  She is a thoughtful gift giver and I am really enjoying this book thus far.  I look forward to my 40's when my opinions of myself and my life are far more important to me that are other opinions.  More later.

Finished the book and I plan on returning to my sister and she turns 40 next spring.  I have now reached 40 and as usual, a birthday does not make me feel any different.

According to this book, it seems as though I went through my mid-life crisis a little earlier than most.  Three years ago I was in a profession (elementary school teacher) that I enjoyed for several reasons but could not see myself content in for the next 30 years.  I bailed, moved to London, UK to play, applied to graduate school, am now completing graduate work, no longer religious, befriending a larger swath of people, enjoying the occasional rendez_vous, and living in a city that never thought I would even visit.  Strange how life takes on its own plan once you start rearranging yours.

That is what this book is about.  Taking time to stop and assess your life.  Acknowledge the good, address and let go of mistakes, plan a better future after some deep thought, and proceed with life, living it better than before.  Inspiring and a reminder that I am one of many who have left a past life, reinvented myself and am enjoying life so much more than before.

Some of the best parts:
"Sometime in my forties, I realized how important it was to be one whole, integrated person.  I did not want to work in an environment where I would have to segregate a work personal and a personal persona." - Writer p. 45

One [employee] of a bank provides a regular check and balance for herself.  She makes a 'date' with herself at the end of every workweek.  She reflects on the week past and asks herself questions like: Is this work meeting my needs?  Did I do anything significant this week?  Did I have fun?  Did I feel good?  And then she thinks about the coming weeks and what she hopes to accomplish.  p. 116

About 75 percent of the women said they did not have the financial security that they had expected at this life stage - they didn't want a lot, just some latitude or a safety net for taking risks.  Virtually all of them said one of their major life regrets was "buying too much crap and not starting to save earlier."  p. 127

For goals to be meaningful, like our lives, the must be dynamic and changeable.  Do you see yourself as being on a journey, or are you on a fixed path to a predetermined destination?  Many women in midlife see themselves as moving toward a state, such as being debt-free, or leaving a legacy, but their goals are implicit, not explicit.  They trust they will get there.  p. 133

The great British management thinker Charles handy coined the idea of a portfolio career.  He wrote that he balances '"core" work, which provided "the essential wherewithal for life" with work "dome purely for interest or for a cause, or because it would be stretch me personally or simply because it was fascinating or fun."...Every year I take on one new activity that stretches me, and absorbs me completely...I think this is one of the most organic types of career configurations available to midlife women, especially those wit multiple interested or the drive to explore new territory.  It is based on the assumption that we have many needs and desires and play many roles.  p. 154

I asked women I interviewed, "Looking back over your career, what regrets do you have?  What are you most proud of?  If you had one piece of advice to a younger woman, what would it be?
- know yourself
- act on what is most important to you
- maintain your integrity
- distinguish between the big issues and those that are a matter of taste
- find a mentor / be a mentor
- don't make work the centrepiece of your identity
- be able to navigate the political currents
- confront the fear reptile and take informed risks
- invest in yourself
- be financially literate
- be yourself
- never be deterred by lack of confidence
- don't worry if you don't know what you want to do "when you grow up"
- think trade-one, not trade offs (forget having it all, prioritize what is most important in your life)
p. 157-161

The nature of our relationships with our partners is shaped by who we are, what we want from our lives, as well as our partners' personalities, what we project onto our partners, and what we accept in our partners.  p. 221

Although we all have different expectations of our relationships, we agree on the big issues:
- create a life that is not dependent on a partner
- don't allow yourself to be swallowed
- don't swallow your partner
- enjoy and accept your partner for who she/he is
- make time for each other
- recognize and discuss your feelings when they occur
- be realistic
- monitor your thoughts and your speech when you have a disagreement
- know what is important to you
- don't tolerate any kind of abusiveness or behaviour that makes you feel belittled
- take your own counsel when it comes to ending a relationship
- get support through a bad period

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Still Too Busy?

Gargameg,

One thing you should try it out

Hold a mirror shoulder high

When you're older

Look you in the eye

When you're older

Look you in the eye

- Tsmurf

Projection Ruined This 

or

Dance to These:

Sarah Jarosz - Run Away  

Imaginary Cities - Manitoba Bossa Nova 

Mary Chapin Carpenter - I Have a Need for Solitude 

Sarah Slean - The Right Words 

Spirit of the West - Political

Dar Williams - Closer to Me 

The Swell Season - Two Tongues 

City and Colour - Sam Malone 

Gotye - Somebody I Used to Know  

Keane - My Shadow 

Sarah Slean - Set It Free

Travel as a Political Act, Rick Steves

Rick Steves, a travel guru who has opened up and interpreted European travel to North Americans for 30 years, has written a new book titled Travel as a Political Act.  It is on order at the library for me.  I am the first person in line and very excited to read it.  In addition to the book there is a blog and a video and audio recording of a speech given in California, available through ABC TV.

While I did not agree with everything he said in this video, I do agree with the ability travel has to remind us that our human condition is far more similar than different, and other people who appear different that you or I are not scary and to be feared, but interesting individuals from who we can learn a great deal.  Different lives.  Different choices.  Travel changes your perceptions if you are willing to open to its lessons and get off the beach of a first world resort supplanted in a developing nation.  Get off the beach.  Be brave.  Go further.  

I shall write more when I have read the book.

An Idiot Abroad

An Idiot Abroad by Karl Pilkington
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Another travel book.  Looks like a person who does not like to travel is being forced to travel by two of his friends, one being Ricky Gervais and the other Stephen Merchant.  We shall see.


This book was OK.  I was a little mad that a person who did not really like traveling was visiting many of the Wonders of the World, and didn't appear to enjoy himself despite visiting 4 or 5 different continents.  This was part of the schtick to make the book and subsequent videos humorous and different than others, but I would have appreciated these visits more.  They should have picked me to go.  Then again, Pilkington did share many moments of deep honesty, and did learn more about other places even though he did not like many of them.  Perhaps the videos, in this case, would be better than the book.


Not my favourite travel book and not as funny as many reviewers stated, but it was an easy and interesting enough read to keep me on the tread mill or stationary bike at the gym longer than normal.


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Walking the Gobi

Walking the Gobi: A 1,600 Mile-trek Across a Desert of Hope and Despair by Helen Thayer


So far I am trying to figure out why anyone would want to walk through a desert.  Barren.  Void.  Empty.  Sandy.  So far I am enjoying the book but as a tourist and a walker I just don't think I would ever make this a life goal as the author has.  I shall keep reading to open my eyes to her perspective.


"The absence of outside distractions caused us to immerse ourselves fully in our environment, which meant that we were ready to respond instantly to any emergency that might rise.  Rather than reading books at night, we used the time to sleep." p. 116


Now that I have read the book I can say that I still don't want to walk to through any desert but I do respect Thayer and her partner Bill as this was an amazing book to read.  The physical challenges, the mind games the desert plays on them, the hospitality of the Mongolians, the craziness of the Chinese border patrol, the idea that one keeps walking and walking and walking even when one's mouth is full of sandy grit.  Incredible story from amazing people!


A poem Thayer left behind in a desert in the centre of a cairn:

Although the harshness of the desert sometimes climbs beyond human endurance, a deep feeling of tranquility floods our senses as we allow ourselves to become part of the earth, wind, sand and dust that surrounds us.  We can never conquer the elements; we can only experience them as a visitor, knowing that after we have passed, the desert will continue its ways both gentle and violent long after we are gone.  It takes time to understand the special freedom that comes when we join hands with Mother Nature and follow her lead.  The increasing weariness and outward struggle is made easier when we are at peace with our surroundings and at one with our Creator.  (p. 179)


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Lightning Up My Life

When my family gathered in BC for several weeks in August, we experienced yet another gorgeous storm at Shuswap.  This one however came with a bit of fright, concern and nature reminding us who is in charge.  From my parents cabin/house, we can see storms coming from the north-west (on the left) and they slowly descend across the lake, mountains and beach to the east (righthand side).

North-West View

North-East View

On August 11, just as we were approaching the yearly meteor shower, a storm began inching its way across the horizon, joined by an array of colours soaking the sky.

Storm Approaching

 From each home on the property, from each road, each outcrop, each vantage point the camera is able to capture a separate view, as though each photo was taken at a different lake.  

Sky Darkens

During this storm a phenomenon occurred, the storm stopped half way across and paused waiting for me and others to grab our cameras to begin composing shots.  I took a few shots of my parents view, then ascended to the top of the road, another vantage point, and set up tripod and camera, capturing the mountain across the lake.

Mountain in Storm Across the Shuswap

Then the thunder and lightning began.  Several years ago we experienced the most charged storm we had ever witnessed, not being able to count to three between lightning flashes and explosions of thunder for about one hour.  This storm began to sound as though it would be a repeat.  The lightning lit up the sky and I moved higher, my first time trying to capture lighting.

First Lightning Shot

Nope.  Not so great.  I began adjusting my camera on the tripod.  As I bent over and peered through the lens the loudest and I mean LOUDEST noise I have ever heard ripped out of the sky.  A clap of thunder that caused me to drop my camera (still attached to the tripod), stumble two steps backwards, then grab my chest making sure I had not been hit and I was still alive.  My heart was racing.  My mind was in shock.  I was still solid flesh and bone from what my hands could grab and my head could process.

"TONIA!  ARE YOUDKL SDF LKD FOI OIEJ FNSDOKJNF!!!!!!"

I heard someone yelling at me from below.  From one of the houses.  I did not yell back.  I was still processing what had happened.  One minute later my sister and father appeared, driving up the road, to see if I was OK.  They saw that I was alive but a little jarred and informed me that lightning had shot across the sky just behind me after the clap of thunder, into the forest, producing two pillars of smoke which rose up into the air.  A potential forest fire. 

My cousin and uncle appeared in a truck with shovels in hand thirty seconds later; my brother and another uncle appeared on mountain bikes another thirty seconds later to head into the forest to see if a fire had begun; another uncle arrived on foot holding a shovel ready to fight a forest fire.  Some people disappeared into the forest, others headed out in vehicles along the highway to inspect the forest from above, and my father and sister made sure I was OK.  Once recovered, I moved my tripod so I could keep trying to get shots of the lightning.  Truly addicted to photography or crazy.  Not sure.  

After inspection and no further smoke or flames, the family retreated to their homes as wind had blown the storm the rest of the way across the lake, and with no protection for my equipment and after realizing that I had an almost near death experience, I too retreated to my parents home.  No more good shots taken.

Once in the living room, I could not hold still.  I had to go out and try again.  Wrapping my camera in a plastic shopping bag, I ventured out onto my parents porch.  Finding a safe spot under the roof overhang, adjusting the shutter speed etc, and practicing a few times, I was ready for lightning. 

The camera was facing my Aunt Moiya and Uncle Dave's cabin as most of the sky action was happening there.  After many shots, I got these two.  I screamed with delight and awe after each shot.  "I GOT IT!  WOOHOO!"  

Lightning Above Moiya's House

Lightning at Moiya's: Take Two

Those shots got me addicted and I kept at it for another two hours.  Watching.  Waiting.  Adjusting.  Lightly pushing buttons.  Not always succeeding, but getting a few more shots of the east view from my parents patio.

Splitting the Sky

Finding Ground

 Sometimes, I was able to see a flash in the clouds, press the shutter button and hope a lightning strike would descend from the clouds at the right moment.  Other times I would push the shutter button and see illuminated clouds and the storm raging on.  But no lightning.  Still quite gorgeous.  Especially those blues.

The Best Travel Writing, 2007

The Best Travel Writing 2007: True Stories from Around the World by James O'Reilly
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

An eclectic mix of stories pulled from mostly North American travel writer's originally published in other sources.  These short snippets of travel stories provide the reader with a pick-and-choose reading opportunity, as each reader may not find the topic of each piece in harmony with their own travel interests.  From kick boxing, to train travels through India, discovering the true identity of a culture through an umbrella, digging deeper into one of Mexico's least reputable towns, to hopping in a hippie van, and reading about a young Palestinian grandson reconciling with his grandfather.  Every story presents a unique travel voice and experience of mental pictures, sounds, delights, sorrows, joys and surprises.  My favourite story was toward the end, "Fishing With Larry" by Tom Joseph.  Larry, Tom's brother, dies and gives one handful of his cremated ashes to each member of his family to do with as they please.  During a trip Bolivia, each family member finds a place of near transcendence in which to release Larry's ashes.  For Tom, part of Larry's ashes are dropped into a large, gushing river replete with huge trout, from which he then fishes.  Most of Tom's memories of his brother are of travel adventures and fishing.  A wonderful true story of putting a loved one to rest in a gorgeous place.  Give it a read and try out the same books from different years.  


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Son of a Witch

Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

While I enjoyed the book as a story of a lost young man who may or may not be the son of Alphaba, it was very dark and depressing.  As the plot proceeds there is a measure of main character development, but during his wanderings through Oz, he and the readers, is not really sure of who he is or is place in the grand scheme of the book, which is perplexing.  As a reader, I wanted more of a climax to the story and it was not there.  If you are a fan of Wicked and McGuire's books, as well as a lover of darker reads, this story will fit you well, just don't expect a major resolution to a climactic story, as it is not to be found.


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The Bully Project

As a former educator, as a niece with a bully for an uncle, an employee who worked with an underhanded bully, and as a family member whose sibling was bullied, we are all affected by the issues of bullying.  In particular in the USA in 2010 there has been wide spread acknowledgement that openly gay and bisexual teens are not only bullied more but have fewer resources and people from whom to ask for help, and often turn to suicide.  Spread the word that the choices we all make on a minute by minute basis can contribute to an environment of love, acceptance and peace.

The Bully Project.

One of the best American authors, Barbara Coloroso, and public speakers who takes the issues and explains who participates: the bully, the bullied, and the bystander.

Your boyfriend George has a clip of the movie and is asking people to join the conversation online.  Perhaps it should be called the Anti-Bully Project but either way add your voice, do what you can to embrace and enjoy people, to see who they really are, then enjoy those people.

Bullying Canada

Obama's Anti-Bullying Campaign on Facebook

Bullying.org 

Online Help Kids and Everyone

Kids Who Committed Suicide Due to Bullying

More Kids Who Committed Suicide

Teach your children what bullying looks like, the physical, the verbal, the social, the emotional.  Teach them how not to bully, then teach them how to stand up to bullies.  As for you as an adult, either at work or elsewhere, don't let anyone bully you either.

Here is a great commercial for all the redheads out there:

"They Are Young. They Will Heal Fast."

Several years ago a talk was posted on the TED.com website that had me laughing and saying, "yes, we should do that!"  This week I was reminded of this talk with my Aunt as she posted on a family blog a chat with her daughter and granddaughter concerning children playing with fire.  Gever Tulley was the speaker and the talk was titled: 5 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do.  Yep.  Dat's wat eet iz!  Playin' wit fiyaaa!

He ensures that his listeners are aware that we are making larger and larger safety bubbles around each child, to the point that we stifling their creativity, ability to learn, understand how real objects work, and ability to manipulate objects with their hands and minds.  This type of childhood training reminds me of the difference between one of my siblings and I.  After dinner with family members, my brother Trent and I, when we approached what appeared to be a moving waterfall landscape picture in the restaurant, had very different reactions.  He was up close to the picture looking behind it, trying to figure out how it worked, and I was further back looking at the artistic rendering of the landscape, absorbing its beauty and interpreting its meaning.  Trent was ready to pull it apart and discover its inner guts, which Tulley suggests each parent should do with their child when appliances and other objects no longer work.  Disect them and learn together.

The most important message that Tulley suggests in addition to remembering the art of discover, is the reality that parents could be passing this work on to their children, do so with safety and supervision, have fun, and create shared meaningfulness between the scientific dissectors.  His best piece of advice if someone does accidentally sustain an injury: "Don't worry.  They are young.  They will heal fast."

Several years have passed since my initial viewing of the videocast, there is now a website and a book, both titled Fifty Dangerous Things.

Enjoy the information and get dissecting!

You Know Big Words

When I finished high school my family moved to Ottawa and I moved from a city of 3 million people (Cleveland) to a city of 40,000 (Medicine Hat).  It actually saw tumbleweed rolling through the downtown bit (too small to be called a 'core') one day when I was trying to get to know the city.  Culture shock in so many ways!  While in The Hat I pretended to go to class and played basketball with the Rattlers at Medicine Hat College.  One day, one of my team mates asked me a question, "why do you use such big words?"  I can't remember my reply but I remember being stunned that someone thought I had a large vocabulary.  It always seemed about normal to me.  (Recently I drove through the hamlet of a town she was from in Saskatchewan and realized why I seemed so odd and perhaps in her eyes.)  Once in a while I drag up this memory as I learn a new word and have a giggle.

This term of Grad School has hit me at breakneck speed like a wall of ruddy, inflexible, unyielding bulwark of responsibilities.  It was inevitable as my last term started really slow.  My class schedule alone is bulky, but add being a TA and a Grader/Marker to the mix, while I begin to hunt down an adequate summer job and the term is going to be over like the flash of a light-bug's bum.  Here I sit taking a break from the 1.5 inches of reading I had to accomplish for this week's classes.  Much, much reading to complete.  It dawned on me that I have been using a dictionary more than I ever had over the last 2 weeks, and had a giggle as my use of large words does not include much of the language I am encountering at Grad School.  Last week while reading an article about consumer culture and the media I lowered the article from my face and yelled at the wall, "who writes like this!"  It seemed as though the thickness of the vocabulary was going to leave me stuck in a quagmire of stupidity.   Thanks to my phone App dictionary.com I have learned even more words and someday someone will scream at me, "who uses such high falutin' big language?"  One can only hope.

Below is the list of words I have had to familiarize myself with in order to understand what the hell I am supposed to be doing.

List of Words
January 4 - 24

• invidious
• emulation
• pecuniary
• conspicuous
• fetishism
• dataveillance
• cathect
• cathexis
• semiology
• fecundity (have heard the word for years but can never remember the definition)
• metonymy
• diasporic
• concomitant
• meme path
• parlysian
• torun
• concupiscent
• phylogistic
• grodno
• tautology
• evenescent
• sanguine
• intransigent
• perspicious
• subsumptive
• subsumption
• occlude
• indefatigable
• eidetic
• contrastive
• hypostatization
• reify
• multiphrenic
• ersatz (I have had to look this one up many times over.)
• aestheticized
• neurasthenia
• cognoscenti
• antinomial
• flaneurs (French)
• typology
• ephemeral
• interpellated
• poesies
• monolithic
• lacuna
• limen
• limina
• threshold
• communitas
• liminality
• serendipity
• discursive
• phlogistic

Yep, that is the list so far.  How did you do?  Do you feel smarter than me because you could actually use one or two of them in a sentence?  Good for you!   Feel free to leave me a comment your favourite word on the list, about a new word you have learned recently, or a story about feeling completely incompetent.  Go!  Learn!  Use big words!

Psychotic Break

I have never had a psychotic episode in which I have blended reality and my own inner mind's workings into one large experience, all of which I believe is authentic.  After having seen Black Swan, I have a closer understanding of what a psychotic episode might look like.

For many years I worked hard practicing, completing drills, working as a team and sweating meeting the goal of being the best basketball player.  I reached that goal many years ago but once I reached it I was not consumed with fears of paranoia and obsessed with perfection, all involving an over-protective parent.  After watching Black Swan I can see how the thine line of reaching a goal may turn on me.

Most of my life I feel like I have been pretty uptight, overly moral and whitely pure.  Now that I have watched Black Swan I more fully understand what it could look like if I began letting out my dark side (minus the wings and feathers).

Mmmmm......a wonderfully intricate movie, not easy to watch, but very intensely introspective as one must always be aware, that what one is experiencing is as close to the collective reality as possible.



The Envelope's perspective on the movie.

We Are Missing

"There is the side that fights.

There is a side that keeps schools, factories, and hospitals, open."

"We are missing the stories of the women who are literally keeping life going in the midst of war."

"There is the side that is led by men.  There is the side that is lead by women...We must understand war and peace from both sides."

"We have to understand that we cannot actually have negotiations of ending of wars or peace, without fully including the women at the negotiation table."

"I find it amazing that the only group of people who are not fighting, and not killing, and not pillaging, and not burning, and not raping, and the group of people who are mostly (though not exclusively) who are keeping life going in the midst of war, are not included at the negotiating table."

"There is no way that we can talk about stability until we start investing in women and girls."

Zainab Salbi is astonishing.

Narcissism Entitlement Aggression

This title was taken from an article on the interesting Rabble.com website.  It has information that has stuck with me that keeps popping up in my brain again and again.  Perhaps because I am teaching young adults from this generation in University; partly because the subject of the class encourages the questioning of one's long held assumptions about society and how it is created, which some students are understanding and some not; lastly because I do have a sense of entitlement about some things in life (ie. clean water, warm bed, nice care, good pathway system, cheap bananas, somewhat stylish clothes, etc.)

I don't have a sense of entitlement Colin Horgan suggests many young people have in his article below, and I was shocked that the idea that 'she was asking for it' or the 'I don't believe it was rape' mentality still exists.  Weren't these ideas supposed to die in the late 1970's and early 1980's when laws were changed?  Then again in my class last week, several male students suggested that a particular female reporter entering a male athletic change room should not have been surprised at the athletes sexually harassing behaviour because 'look what she was wearing!'  On the basis of people 'deserving' to be harassed based on what s/he is wearing, who should be getting harassed, a female reporter trying to do her job in a short skirt and top, or the male athlete dressed in a towel?  Fortunately for many women who find themselves victims of sexual harassment, sexual assault, etc Canadian law and 35 years of psychology, sociology, gender and feminist studies has enlightened us on the power, dominance and oppression issues inherent in this kind of behaviour and that no one ever 'deserves' it.  Disappointing and scary that this knowledge is not getting through to all young people who have this sense of entitlement and the narcissistic aggression that accompanies it.

The most interesting portion of this article for me is that I feel I have been granted brief access into the male psyche.  I don't have one of those.  Well, the psyche of a few young men of a certain sexuality, position in life, with a particular view on the world.   Interesting and scary to try and see through the lens of another who is living a very different life than my own.

Read the article and the comments below it.  It may stick with you too.

Narcissism, Entitlement, Aggression and Rape

by Colin Horgan

Tranquil Plain and Eternal Sky

So I was off.  After living in the same province for 20 years, this nomad needed a change.  After research, conversations, emails, applications, internal meanderings, advice seeking, and drawing up my courage, I set off.  After receiving a 'yes' from the University and after saying 'yes' back, I began organizing.  My belongings, my house, my contacts, my life...of 20 years.  Off the Manitoba I went!

The hardest part was realizing how many objects I had collected over time and cheering that I was astute enough to purchase a house (that I kept) with a large crawl space for storage.  One month of planning what to leave behind, pack and roll into storage.  Then the rest of the time to pack, sell and give-away the remains.  The day of departure arrived and this mode of transportation.