I woke up this morning at 3 AM tossing and turning, thinking about school, work, my future, goals, decisions and the next 10 months. Yep. I have been up since 3 AM. In my family that is called 'Arta Time', in reference to my aunt who goes to bed at 8 PM and wakes up at 4 AM, accomplishing more in the first 4 hours of the day than most do in their entire day. Arta time. I have been up since Arta time. This is crazy.
Here is the jist:
1. I am never going to finish my thesis.
2. I am never going to get a job that I like.
3. Even if I get a job, it will be like the last one with bosses that are crazy but don't know it (the worst kind).
4. It will take me 40 years to pay off my student loan (which means when I die at 76, I will leave the remaining payments to various people who have caused student debt to sky rocket in the last two decades. Klein and Harper, you're first on the list.)
5. Some day when I am destitute and wearing clothes from 2012 in 2024, I will look back and wonder what grad school was all for.
6. I am never going to finish this thesis.
Yep. Winter is coming and my attitude is turning cold and bitter. Time to hunker down and keep going, even though I am never going to finish.
Perhaps I shouldn't blog when I've been up for 21 hours.
Need to sleep.